funeral leaflet 1.JPG
funeral leaflet 1.JPG

I lived for 5,742 days, 7 hours & 36 minutes


On 20th July 2013 I swallowed 1/2 gm of MDMA powder (ecstasy) that turned out to be 91% pure and died three hours later of an accidental overdose. 

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I lived for 5,742 days, 7 hours & 36 minutes


On 20th July 2013 I swallowed 1/2 gm of MDMA powder (ecstasy) that turned out to be 91% pure and died three hours later of an accidental overdose. 

Life without Martha… 

Martha Fernback and her mum, Anne-Marie Cockburn

Since publishing my book, 5742 Days, it's as though the world cried with me as the story of losing my only child seemed to provoke so much dialogue. 

Although it's painful, I tell my story as often as I can in schools, prisons and at public events in order to raise awareness and to do what I can to prevent anyone else from experiencing a loss like mine.

I also want to show people that there is always hope, regardless of what life throws at you. I believe there is a positive way to grieve and despite missing my girl every minute of every day - I've also laughed a lot and am still able to feel great joy, which is something we don't tend to hear about with stories like mine.

So I'm grateful that the dust is starting to settle and my life is slowly starting to take shape again. Had Martha lived, she would have lived life to the full, so on her behalf I live for the two of us and do what I can to make the most of the life I have left.

Originally from Ayrshire, Scotland, I now live in Oxford, where the dreaming spires provide me with the beautiful backdrop I need in order to fulfil the dreams inside my head. Since I was old enough to pick up a pencil I have been a serious, but lyrical observer of life. I like to peel away the layers to find the story, behind the story, and the invisible minutiae becomes the main focus of my writing.

I have written for Mumsnet,  BritmumsThe Huffington Post, and co-written a Play of my book entitled What Martha Did Next, so yes, I've got the writing bug now and my precious Martha would be so glad that I finally found the courage to share my writing with the world.

If you'd like me to be a Guest Speaker at a conference, school or public-awareness event, please email to discuss.

Thank you,

Anne-Marie Cockburn (Martha’s mum)