I really do believe in the gift of bereavement. I attribute so much of my healing and a lot of the laughter over the past couple of years, to the beautiful road I have travelled with so many incredible people who poured out their love and kindness into my shattered heart, watering me from my very core and helping me to flourish in my new life without Martha.
A beautiful tapestry so vibrant and iridescent - containing new depth and understanding, incredible moments in human kindness, bringing a quality to my life that I probably would never have accessed had I not lost my girl.
Now, don't get me wrong - if you could wave a wand and return my Martha to me this very instant - I wouldn't hesitate (that goes without saying), but I want to also stress that through the agonising pain, I have gained a lot.
I've discovered what I am capable of - within me there seems to be a profound intuitive perspective on what's important in life. There are many answers there, where uncertainty and insecurity used to reside. As well as my inner-voice, I have also found the ability to express myself by telling my story and although I still struggle to perceive myself in this way - on behalf of Martha I am determined to share what happened with the world until change happens.
One of the most thoughtful gifts I have been given is this beautiful little film made by one of Martha's friends. The gift of bereavement indeed.